ECCLESIOLOGICAL ETCHINGS
August 9, 2026
Recently, someone thanked me for showing such kindness through an act of forgiveness. To be honest, I didn’t even remember it. So maybe the old adage of forgive and forget can be true, but it’s probably going to be in those situations when we really didn’t feel all that injured. You appreciated the concern of the person who apologized and asked for forgiveness, but you’re sort of wondering whether you missed something. It really wasn’t a big deal. Situations like that can leave people skewed, thinking all conflict and injury should be forgiven and forgotten. But many situations cannot and probably should not be forgotten. Like me, you’ve probably seen people who thought they were to forgive and forget only find themselves getting hurt over and over again. When Jesus told his disciples to forgive 70X7, I do not believe he was inviting people to be hurt by the same people 490 times. Forgiving often helps us to release ourselves from the person who caused us injury, but then remembering alongside that forgiveness helps to create good boundaries, a capacity to say, “No,” and even to be okay with no future relationship. Sometimes even loving our neighbor is being firm with boundaries, and maybe if enough hurt people are firm with those boundaries, the one causing the hurt might have a wake-up call. It’s not guaranteed, but when the boundary becomes consistent and unbending, the person causing the hurt is left with no one else to blame. Bumping up against that kind of barrier can become a turning point for some people… or at least, we can hope. But it’s still not our responsibility to put ourselves back in harm’s way.
Sometimes the most gracious thing I can do for myself and for others is make it clear that I will no longer put myself in harm’s way. Amazing God, you have given me grace in abundance, and it is on me to accept and utilize that gift for my own wellbeing. Continue to be my encourager. Amen.
